Tough times do not last, but tough people do... (My Lola-10 Years Later)

Point to Ponder: "Hope is a good thing, may be the best thing, and no good thing ever dies” - from the movie Shawshank Redemption

Storyline:

Previously published on May 2011 under the title "Old Soldier never dies,he/she only fades away" - Repeat with an update on 10th Anniversary

In these times of global health crisis, major political and regional conflicts, economic challenges and employment worries, I would like to share the remarkable life story of a "common" person that has been anything but common. Her friends and relatives affectionately call her “My Lola” (Grandma). I met her during my visit to Manila in 1978 and got to know her more during my expatriate assignment in the early '80s.  Here is her story:

She was born to a Chinese father and a Filipino mother. In her teenage years, she lost both parents and was left to take care of three younger siblings. In order to survive, she started a small business: she supported the family by selling fruits, vegetables & fish to locals in the market.

During the second world war, she learnt the language of the occupying enemy army, cut her hair short and dressed like a boy to survive. One day most of the people in her town were slaughtered by the occupying force before retreating. They didn't want to leave any trace for the American forces that were advancing towards her town to rescue the local people. She escaped death only because of the kindness of one enemy soldier. When Americans arrived, not knowing they were friends or enemies, she hide herself and came out only when one American soldier who had noticed her offered some chocolate.*

Seeing her struggles, a relative placed her in wealthy family as a housemaid. Her little earnings helped in taking care of her siblings. But her request to go to night school after day duties was denied. So she took it upon herself to study by listening to people, observing and inquiring whenever oportunities came up. In her early 20s, she got married and started another business that provided a comfortable, middle-class living for the next 30 years.

Sadly, in the mid '70s, a fire destroyed her home and her business. Before she could launch another venture, one of her teenage sons developed a rare disease and died, after long and very expensive medical treatment which drained the family savings. Most of the meals during that time were vegetables with soy sauce and rice. She would eat leftovers after everyone was done eating. A year later, another teenage son met with a vehicle accident and died, when returning from work to earn for the family. One would think that this is enough misery for one person in one lifetime.Unfortunately, in the early '80s, her eldest son (23 years old) and her husband died. She was left to support the three remaining young children by herself.  She learned to read and speak English while taking care of a young boy; she would make the little one read a book, and while moving her finger on every word, listen carefully and pick up the pronunciation.

Eventually she went abroad and for the next 27 years her life turned for the better. In December 2008, on her 77th birthday, I asked her for a formal interview. After recapturing many of her experiences, and her creative approaches for surviving and eventually thriving in life, I asked her the final question. “What kept you going on in life with all that has happened?”
“Hope” she answered. “I never gave up thinking that tomorrow will be better than today and kept on going. Every day was precious and I gave my best efforts.”Personally I have not met anyone who has been through so much in one life time. But what she said in her final answer is what I witnessed every time I saw her. On one Sunday in 2009, I chatted with her about the massive global problems going on at that time.  She told me, “Trust me. Things will get better.”This story was originally published in November 2008.  Shortly after, “My Lola” (Mrs. Lim) developed some major health issues. In next two and a half years, she defied five calls by specialists for her demise and showed remarkable recoveries each time, to the surprise of all. Her willpower was inspirational to all who were fortunate to witness it. But on early afternoon of May 5th, 2011 her body gave way. During her life she fought every adversity/battle hard, never gave up and came through. And her last battle was no different. She demonstrated in all conversations and actions that she was going to give every ounce of energy she had and not give up on her own.As her care taker put it: “They leave the way they live.” 

Reflection:

Some people and their stories leave lifelong memories and learnings. Through the years, there have been many Friday Reflections about such people and thier remarkable stories. Today, May 5th, is the 10th anniversary of My Lola leaving this earth. She left a legacy; her life story, determination, drive, strong work ethics and good moral values are carried on by her daughter, her roommate of 21 years (her grand daughter) and her grandson. Also she never forgot that enemy soldier who saved her life and also "American" soldier who rescued her with chocolate. Later in life she would tell that story to her granddaughter's husband who is "American". I am incredibly fortunate to have met her in this journey and learned from her practical wisdom that was  incorporated in my work and personal life.

Remembering the words of the artist and author Flavia Weedn:

"Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."

Title Line 'Tough Times do not last, tough people do'  is a quote by Robert H. Schuller